Words of Wisdom from the Girl Scouts

Frances Hesselbein has become an iconic nonprofit leader. From her nearly 20 years of leadership with the "Girl Scouts (13 years as national CEO) to her current position as founding president of the Leader to Leader Institute (formerly the Peter F. Drucker Foundation), Hesselbein has shown herself to be a born leader.

Make learning central to your organization. Hesselbein, when she became national CEO of the Girl Scouts, set out to transform a dated program into a contemporary one to meet the needs of the girls...the customers. But she knew that the Girl Scouts needed to be able to keep changing when necessary. 

To that end, she invested time and money in the training and development of staff and volunteers. As Hesselbein says, "The first item in your budget should be learning, education, and the development of your people."

As a trainer and speaker, I think this is a great philosophy, but in the last four years, I have seen these budgets cut drastically!  

Conversation Starters and Stoppers!

For those of you who are traveling this season, here are some tips to stop a conversation from our friends at Southwest!

"I can't really talk with anyone until I've had two drinks and I always stop after my first."

"I am sorry, I cannot talk with you - I have given up face-to-face conversation as a personal experiment."  (Sound like some of our younger friends?)

Now here are some starters (think about using some of these to unleash information from someone with whom you are trying to build a relationship).

"If you had to give up one type of communication you use regularly, which would you choose? Why?"

"If you had to move to a different state, where would you go?  Why?"

"What are the longest trips you've ever taken by distance and duration? What was the best part of each?"

Happy traveling to everyone - I hope you enjoy a joyous and wonderful Christmas and a very special New Year!

Let's Have Lunch Together is NOT like a Stereo Manual

Thank you to Samantha Bellows who wrote a fan letter about my book.  She said "It's always hard to read a book about building relationships that reads like a stero manual."

"So much information about how to approach people." Samantha also liked the tips on how to create the relationships. "It was long my opinion that you should form "friendships" almost with people that are important to you professionally to keep a good bond.

She's correct - these "friendships almost" are friendships in the professional realm.  It does not mean making a new friends but rather instilling trust in you by the other person.

Thanks  Samantha.  You know we authors love feedback!

Creating trust, not sales

Recently, I read some advice to salespeople that sounds a lot like the advice I give fundraisers.  So to all my for-profit colleagues here it is:

In nonprofit fund raising, I say chase the relationship not the money.  For salespeople, it's the same. Have an authentic approach and try to solve your customer's problems. 

Take the pressure off the sale (ask for money).

Shift to how you are selling (fund raising) versus what you are selling (the ask).

Now you are on the path to creating a long-lasting relationship and success in sales or fund raising!

Witty book review from Derek Emerson

I'm a little late on social networking but I just discovered a whole bunch of reviews of "Let's Have Lunch Together" on LinkedIn.  

Here's one from a very ambitious project to read a book every week for a year.  Derek Emerson, who says he is another middle aged guy with a great family, old house (in need of repairs I cannot do) and  college administrator with long ago majors in English, Philosophy, and Religion including a Masters in Professional Writing, which is like an English degree with a lot of writing, wrote this last year.

Okay, I fully admit that last week I figured this book would fall into the worst category of my incredibly insightful breakdown of all business books into three categories (see last weeks blog to be reminded of my insight -- in case you forgot). Wrong! Despite the weak title, lousy layout, and large font, this is a book packed with great ideas.

Howard puts it in the context of a novel, but this is no literary masterpiece (nor was this his intent). Instead he puts his ideas in a large case study format and we can see how things would work out. The book is written to help with fund raising, but the focus is on relationships. Howard's refrain is "chase the relationship, not the money."  While this may not seem incredibly insightful, Howard does well to remind us that success comes from our relationships. People truly need to trust us and we need to trust them if we want to move forward.

I went through a day long workshop with Howard last week and it was noted that this methods could also be used by a good con artist. Which of course is true -- con artists know that relationships are essential. But because evil may use it does not make it wrong. We can fall into our cynical selves and give up on treating people as they should be. The difference is motivation and the idea is that strong relationships will bring about good things. But if you build the relationships for monetary or power reasons, the relationship will never be strong because it is built on a weak base (all biblically minded can think stone vs sand here).

Howard's emphasis on relationships makes this work for people in all areas of business. While not a fundraiser myself, it did remind me of how I take for granted some people's support when I should be seeking to find out why support my endeavors to begin with. I have nothing more "to gain" from them, but certainly strengthening those relationships will not only make the business side of things stronger, they may also impact my life. What a concept

Homeless Man - people worse off than me

SOCIAL MEDIA AND THE SEARCH FOR HOME

I'm a big fan of NPR and a segment called The Story by Dick Gordon. He interviews one person whose story highlights what's going on in society as a whole.

This story concerned a man who, after 29 years in the printing business, found himself homeless. However, he could stay in touch with people through his laptop and his blog.

What struck me in the story was the part about him winning tickets for a Twins game. He had to panhandle for gas to get there - the most humiliating thing he said he had ever done. The Twins and going to their games were a big part of the life he had lived before.  However, he left the game early to talk to other homeless people he knew who were living nearby.

Although he only had $16, he gave it all to one man. As he said, "there is always someone who has it worse than me."

That's what struck me - his generosity in his situation. If you want to listen to this fascinating conversation, click below.

Chris Jenks

For the past couple of weeks we’ve been running a series of stories called At Home. As a part of the series, we’re exploring how people are finding a place to live in the midst of a difficult housing market. Three years ago, Chris Jenks had a job, a house, three cars and a year's worth of savings. Today, he is homeless. But Chris is finding a new community through his blog and a Twitter account. First written anonymously as “Twin Cities White Collar Man Walking,” Chris thought by sharing his experiences he would gather a few followers. Little did he know that it would provide him with community and even a room to call his own.

Board member finds connecting easy!

Recently, I spent a half day training staff and board members in the Midwest on how to build relationships within the staff and with outside supporters. I asked them to make a "coffee date" with someone and report back. Here's what one board member wrote to the Senior Vice President of Association Advancement . . .

Thank you so much for inviting me to the "go beyond hello" in-service on Wed. It was very informative. Michael and I set a time to get together. I called him to set up a destination and through the process of exploring where to meet for coffee, we discovered we both like the pumpkin late at Starbucks. So, that was a no brainier. Starbucks it was!

We met Thursday morning and spent about 45 min talking about each other (no shop). We talked about family, kids, where we grew up, college, career path and much more. It went easier than I thought. I felt it was nice we had the pumpkin late as a common interest right from the start, it gave us a place to begin our conversation. Happens he used to live in Seattle.

This was a great exercise. I left feeling the invitation for someone to join you for coffee and starting a relationship isn't as hard as you think. Just finding out about some one else and talking about yourself takes the pressure off your (giving them the mission speech or the car manual... so to speak).

I can see how a relationship with trust over time would progress to a more comfortable position asking for help or money...thanks again and have a great weekend.

Board Member