Let's Have Lunch Together is NOT like a Stereo Manual

Thank you to Samantha Bellows who wrote a fan letter about my book.  She said "It's always hard to read a book about building relationships that reads like a stero manual."

"So much information about how to approach people." Samantha also liked the tips on how to create the relationships. "It was long my opinion that you should form "friendships" almost with people that are important to you professionally to keep a good bond.

She's correct - these "friendships almost" are friendships in the professional realm.  It does not mean making a new friends but rather instilling trust in you by the other person.

Thanks  Samantha.  You know we authors love feedback!

Creating trust, not sales

Recently, I read some advice to salespeople that sounds a lot like the advice I give fundraisers.  So to all my for-profit colleagues here it is:

In nonprofit fund raising, I say chase the relationship not the money.  For salespeople, it's the same. Have an authentic approach and try to solve your customer's problems. 

Take the pressure off the sale (ask for money).

Shift to how you are selling (fund raising) versus what you are selling (the ask).

Now you are on the path to creating a long-lasting relationship and success in sales or fund raising!

Witty book review from Derek Emerson

I'm a little late on social networking but I just discovered a whole bunch of reviews of "Let's Have Lunch Together" on LinkedIn.  

Here's one from a very ambitious project to read a book every week for a year.  Derek Emerson, who says he is another middle aged guy with a great family, old house (in need of repairs I cannot do) and  college administrator with long ago majors in English, Philosophy, and Religion including a Masters in Professional Writing, which is like an English degree with a lot of writing, wrote this last year.

Okay, I fully admit that last week I figured this book would fall into the worst category of my incredibly insightful breakdown of all business books into three categories (see last weeks blog to be reminded of my insight -- in case you forgot). Wrong! Despite the weak title, lousy layout, and large font, this is a book packed with great ideas.

Howard puts it in the context of a novel, but this is no literary masterpiece (nor was this his intent). Instead he puts his ideas in a large case study format and we can see how things would work out. The book is written to help with fund raising, but the focus is on relationships. Howard's refrain is "chase the relationship, not the money."  While this may not seem incredibly insightful, Howard does well to remind us that success comes from our relationships. People truly need to trust us and we need to trust them if we want to move forward.

I went through a day long workshop with Howard last week and it was noted that this methods could also be used by a good con artist. Which of course is true -- con artists know that relationships are essential. But because evil may use it does not make it wrong. We can fall into our cynical selves and give up on treating people as they should be. The difference is motivation and the idea is that strong relationships will bring about good things. But if you build the relationships for monetary or power reasons, the relationship will never be strong because it is built on a weak base (all biblically minded can think stone vs sand here).

Howard's emphasis on relationships makes this work for people in all areas of business. While not a fundraiser myself, it did remind me of how I take for granted some people's support when I should be seeking to find out why support my endeavors to begin with. I have nothing more "to gain" from them, but certainly strengthening those relationships will not only make the business side of things stronger, they may also impact my life. What a concept

Homeless Man - people worse off than me

SOCIAL MEDIA AND THE SEARCH FOR HOME

I'm a big fan of NPR and a segment called The Story by Dick Gordon. He interviews one person whose story highlights what's going on in society as a whole.

This story concerned a man who, after 29 years in the printing business, found himself homeless. However, he could stay in touch with people through his laptop and his blog.

What struck me in the story was the part about him winning tickets for a Twins game. He had to panhandle for gas to get there - the most humiliating thing he said he had ever done. The Twins and going to their games were a big part of the life he had lived before.  However, he left the game early to talk to other homeless people he knew who were living nearby.

Although he only had $16, he gave it all to one man. As he said, "there is always someone who has it worse than me."

That's what struck me - his generosity in his situation. If you want to listen to this fascinating conversation, click below.

Chris Jenks

For the past couple of weeks we’ve been running a series of stories called At Home. As a part of the series, we’re exploring how people are finding a place to live in the midst of a difficult housing market. Three years ago, Chris Jenks had a job, a house, three cars and a year's worth of savings. Today, he is homeless. But Chris is finding a new community through his blog and a Twitter account. First written anonymously as “Twin Cities White Collar Man Walking,” Chris thought by sharing his experiences he would gather a few followers. Little did he know that it would provide him with community and even a room to call his own.

Board member finds connecting easy!

Recently, I spent a half day training staff and board members in the Midwest on how to build relationships within the staff and with outside supporters. I asked them to make a "coffee date" with someone and report back. Here's what one board member wrote to the Senior Vice President of Association Advancement . . .

Thank you so much for inviting me to the "go beyond hello" in-service on Wed. It was very informative. Michael and I set a time to get together. I called him to set up a destination and through the process of exploring where to meet for coffee, we discovered we both like the pumpkin late at Starbucks. So, that was a no brainier. Starbucks it was!

We met Thursday morning and spent about 45 min talking about each other (no shop). We talked about family, kids, where we grew up, college, career path and much more. It went easier than I thought. I felt it was nice we had the pumpkin late as a common interest right from the start, it gave us a place to begin our conversation. Happens he used to live in Seattle.

This was a great exercise. I left feeling the invitation for someone to join you for coffee and starting a relationship isn't as hard as you think. Just finding out about some one else and talking about yourself takes the pressure off your (giving them the mission speech or the car manual... so to speak).

I can see how a relationship with trust over time would progress to a more comfortable position asking for help or money...thanks again and have a great weekend.

Board Member

Hyundai Lessons - Part 2

In order to move up to the luxury car buyer, it has taken Hyundai several steps starting in 1998. They had a quality problem and faced that by offering one of the best warranty programs in the industry and then re-engineering their components to back up this warranty. They didn't just make a simple upgrade; they looked at virtually every component and redesigned the failing ones and then used that experience to improve the cars under development!

The 2009 recession caused it to add a loss-protection program; allowing buyers who lost their jobs to return the cars.

"To get people to buy your car you have to get people to trust you," Hyundai CEO John Krafcik said. "We want people to think, 'Hyundai — they just take care of you.' "

These moves have paid off and the market share is up!

What can we learn? First, if we want to reach the major donor, we may have to examine every element in our all of our fund-raising programs and implement agency-wide changes. When I talk to clients about relationship-centered development, that's what we do. No matter the appeal or the event, we make sure that connecting with those donors is a key ingredient.

Second, you have to establish trust - trust in you as the fundraiser. That's just as important as a passion for the mission. You have to connect with the donor on a personal level, follow-up on all of the promises you make and finally, just like Hyundai, continue to take care of them long after the sale!

What can we learn from Hyundai - Part 1

Recently Hyundai announced it was going after the luxury car driver (major gift giver, to us) with its new Equus.

However, it is facing hurdles that are familiar to fundraisers - the experience. Hyundai is not moving this brand into a separate dealership with specially trained sales and service people who know how to appeal to wealthy customers like Lexus and other Asian spinoffs did. According to one automotive consultant, "True luxury buyers expect more than product. They expect a luxury sales and service experience and there is no way to do that through Hyundai dealers," he said.

Hyundai's solution? They dispatch a car to the customer for a test drive and offer valet-style service; the customer never has to come to Hyundai.

In my experience, our top-level donors also expect more of an experience with us and our agency. Our job is to figure out what the "win" is for them; what motivates them and then deliver it. Creating activities and social interaction for them with the agency and other donors is the challenge.