New Year's resolutions

I am going to refer to advice from one of my favorite tv shows - CBS Sunday Morning. Does it sound like all I'm doing during vacation is watch tv?

Nancy Giles is a commentator with a light touch. She was talking about making resolutions and she said she hated "goals." So she looked around for some advice and found it from Leroy "Satchel" Paige, the greatest pitcher in the history of the Negro Leagues. He also played in the Major Leagues for Cleveland, St. Louis and Kansas City and coached the Atlanta Braves. He wound up in the Baseball Hall of Fame with an amazing record and an amazingly long career.

Here's what Paige said, among many other memorable things:
"You win a few, you lose a few. Some get rained out. But you got to dress for all of them."

Isn't that great advice for those of us who show up every day?

Now for some great ideas from Paige about living a better life in 2009!

"Work like you don't need the money.
Love like you've never been hurt.
Dance like nobody's watching."

Happy New Year everyone!

Holiday Message

I saw a fascinating show on PBS yesterday - Happy for No Reason. The presenter was Marci Shimoff, co-author of ‘"Chicken Soup for the Soul" and author of “Happy for No Reason: 7 Steps to Being Happier Right Now.”

She said a couple of amazing things - here's one:

#1 Don’t believe everything you think. Learn to question your thoughts. You have 60,000 thoughts each day; 95 percent of them are the same thoughts you had yesterday and the day before. Just because you have them doesn’t mean they are true.

In addition, she said, "somehow the bad comments or thoughts stick more than the good ones."

Isn't that true - we remember the negative comments from a boss or parent; rarely the favorable compliments. One of the paths to happiness is to let the good thoughts consciously come into our heads more often and "stick."

#2 Based on her research, she said brain chemistry changes when you give - another path to happiness.

So to all my colleagues who are helping others by moving their organizations and missions forward, I wish you a very happy holiday season and a happy 2009.

Despite all the uncertainty in this universe, we can change our brain chemistry. Keep the good thoughts up front!

Reaching out in tough times

I have been reading a lot of advice from columnists, bloggers and consultants about how to weather these times. Many have concentrated on advising nonprofits to have a razor-sharp message; to tell donors and stakeholders exactly what their situations are during these times and hone their electronic messages.

I think this is just backwards. Everyone knows that these are tough times . .for almost everyone. The job market is uncertain and those with jobs are nervous. People who are ready to retire and who have retired are watching their portfolios decline (one of my main worries). Those of us in the marketplace are wondering who will be buying our products or services (another concern of mine).

So I think people in nonprofit have to practice what I call the platinum rule (we all know the golden rule): DO UNTO OTHERS AS THEY NEED AND WANT YOU TO DO UNTO THEM.

How does this translate to your practice? It means asking those you meet about their situation - not because you are probing for dollars - but because you are genuinely concerned about their well-being! Listening to them and putting this person's needs first and yours second is the key to building a strong connection.

Back to my blog

It's been quite a while since I've posted any thoughts . . .in fact, just before I was diagnosed with vocal chord cancer. You can imagine what a blow that was to some who makes a living speaking - both before an audience and every day on the telephone.

I had a raspy voice and went to an ENT physician to see why my allergies were acting up. I was in shock when he told me I had a tumor. A week later, the tumor was out and the cancer was diagnosed. They got it all with lots of radiation and now I recovering from that! Most of the time I have a sore throat and coughing spells.

But I am booking engagements for 2009 and introducing my new course, goBeyondhello, a three-day training that teaches nonprofits how to build their own Partnership Council.

I have been reading a lot of opinions about how to combat this downturn as fundraising necessarily continues. In the weeks and months to follow, I'll add my ideas.

How Do I Connect On The Phone?

I have found that one of the biggest challenges we face today in our high tech society, is the ability to connect. All the time saving tools we've developed block us from connecting.

Take one of oldest tools...the telephone.
Most people use their phone to download information as quick as possible, for me it's my second most powerful connection tool.

When I pick up the phone my purpose is to reach out and connect. I want to uncover new thoughts and feelings about the other person's organization, as well as what's going on in their life. My only true goal is to help build a stronger collaborative relationship with the person on the other end of the line.


If you want to get an appointment, or a "yes" to a proposal ....

• Don't call while you are driving - select a quiet comfortable place with no distractions.
  
• Don't put people on hold - always make the person feel as if they are all that matters at that time.
  
• Don't multi-task - concentrate on the conversation it's the only thing that matters.
  
• Don't be in a rush - be patient, invest the time in the conversation. They'll let you know when they have to go.
  

Give these a try...
Comment back here with your results.

This is Marshall Howard reminding you . . . giving goes where the relationship flows.

It's Amazing What People Will Tell You

Recently, as part of a relationship centered training course at Pepperdine University, as part of a team building exercise, here's what we heard:

"I'm a direct descendant of George Washington"
"I was a professional beach volleyball player for 16 years."
"I was in prison."
"My grandmother is a fundraiser and knows people like Bill Gates well."
"My husband is 30 years older than I am."
"I've been a bodybuilder for 20 years" (a female)

How do you uncover this information? Most of it comes from sharing information - Mike James in my office likes to kick off a conversation by telling people he lives next door to his third-grade teacher.

When I was a consultant, I had a client who was resisting all of my efforts to help her. Finally, I decided to move our relationship to another level. One day, I called and said, "Let have lunch together."

During the lunch, I was careful not to talk about business. She told me that her great love was throwing pottery. She was so enthusiastic about her hobby that she took me on a tour of her studio and then showed me some of her pieces at a gallery.

I had worked with her for months and never saw this part of her life. Once I did , it made all the difference in our relationship. We were able to forge a collaborative partnership and her efforts to build a new leadership group were successful.


Give it a try...
Comment back here with your results.

This is Marshall Howard reminding you . . . giving goes where the relationship flows.

Go For The Glow!

I just finished a fascinating article from The New York Times titled "What Makes People Give." I was excited to read about the research from several prominent economists about why people give and the payoffs they receive. According to the article, people give to get the "warm-glow" of giving.

This confirms what I have always believed...People decide emotionally and justify logically. The emotional payoff for givers is an investment in feeling good. People aren't giving money merely to help families, they are giving to get the feeling that comes with it. They must have both.

My research has shown that, giving back to your donors emotionally pays off 10-fold. Simply reporting how many families your organization has helped does not create an emotional impact or even a cool glow.

Try this...First, have each board member send five handwritten note cards. Second, have board member call everyone they sent a card to. Just connect, don't ask for anything. Have the board member find out something about your donor as a person and share something about themselves.

Give it a try...
Comment back here with your results.

This is Marshall Howard reminding you . . . giving goes where the relationship flows.

Whose Job Is It?

Within every level, from administrative assistants to board members, I've found that organizations that encourage collaborative relationship building, operate at peak performance.

In fact, several United Ways in Delaware, Dayton OH, Mobile AL, Tallahassee FL and even in the smaller community of Lakeland FL, have made an organization-wide commitment to identify and cultivate everyone they come in contact with. For them, building relationships is not a phrase, it's an action... with repeatable, measurable results.

These United Ways have learned how to transform board members into relationship ambassadors, the CEO into the relationship advocate, and staff into relationship stewards. This type of culture has made an incredible impact on the communities they serve.

Call me Toll-Free at 877-320-9202...
I'll tell one thing that you can do today
that'll make a huge difference.


This is Marshall Howard reminding you . . . giving goes where the relationship flows.

My TGIF Tip

Do you want to build stronger, more collaborative relationships?

Be More Open and Vulnerable

Reveal what your organization does well plus one or two challenges you face beyond raising money. Don’t hide behind the mission. Let your donor know who YOU are as a person, parent, and citizen. Vulnerability shows honesty and honesty builds trust.

Give it a try...
Comment back here with your results.


This is Marshall Howard reminding you . . . giving goes where the relationship flows.

An Easy Way to Connect On The Phone

If you want to instantly connect, try this.....
Start by introducing yourself, then immediately become less formal. Relax and say "Is this a bad time for us to talk?" Let your true curiosity ring through. Share some things about yourself. Remember to use an inviting tone that draws them into your discussion.

Ask them questions such as...

If they are retired...
How long have you been retired?
How do you enjoy your time now that you have a less structured schedule?

If they are in banking...
How long have you been in banking?
Are you from here originally?

Enjoy the conversation. I'm sure you'll be surprised at what you learn. Your only goal is is to leave the conversation feeling more connected to the other person.

Give it a try...
Comment back here with your results.

This is Marshall Howard reminding you . . . giving goes where the relationship flows.

That's why they call it ...Union Station

I followed my own advice toady. I took Regina Birdsell, President / CEO from the Center For Nonprofit Management in Los Angeles to lunch. This was the first time we had ever met. We decided on Traxx, a fun restaurant inside Union Station.

As I have mentioned in previous blogs I left this lunch feeling totally energized. Our one hour lunch turned into a 2 hour conversation. I bet you would like to be a fly on the wall...well here goes.

I came to lunch without an agenda. Well actually, I invited her to lunch because I was curious about her and the organization. Our conversation flowed very much like George and Oscar's in my learning novel, "Let's Have Lunch Together."

We quickly discovered we had lots of things in common. She had worked for ABC and I had worked for CBS. We also discovered we both knew some of the same people.

The most compelling part of our conversation was the notion that nonprofit leaders have a tendency to lock away their biggest asset - the one that motivates others to help them. We discussed that if nonprofit professionals show who they are as person first and connect, people will inevitably ask, how can I help you.? That's what she asked me at the end of our time together.

Once again - Connect First...
Be yourself not just the information messenger.

This is Marshall Howard reminding you . . . giving goes where the relationship flows.

Can You Here Me Now

This week I had an eyeopening conversation with a Director of Community Services at the national office of a multi-chapter organization.

I was curious. I asked her, "What's the single biggest challenge you have helping your local offices?" She barely missed a beat and replied..."Since all of our chapters are "independent" we struggle, to build a stronger support network between our staff and our community offices nationwide - marketing, branding, fundraising, and resource development."

This is a challenge that I've heard consistently for the last 24 years...So, I gave her this tip.

"The solution to your challenge is to make you local executive directors, staffs, and boards trust you and feel safe. Try this. Start by getting to know one new thing about your chapter directors each and every time you talk to them. At the same time share something about you in return."

Discover Something New...
Focus on Their Treasures and Passions.



This is Marshall Howard reminding you . . . giving goes where the relationship flows.

Too Shy to Fundraise?

In almost every nonprofit training course I facilitate someone asks me... Do I need to be outgoing to be good at relationship centered fundraising?

Not at all - Some of the shyest people I know are great relationship builders and fundraisers. I recently read that many of Ronald Regan's staffers considered him one of the shyest men they've ever met. So, how did such a shy man become "the great communicator" and President of the United States.

It's simple.

The core of building great relationships is your ability to show that you truly like people - and Ronald Regan liked all kinds of people.

I teach that building collaborative relationships is both a science and an art. In my learning novel and at my training courses people in nonprofits learn how to better execute the four relationship building fundamentals – that’s the science. I also show you how to connect with others in your own special way – that’s the art.

Show you like people...
ask questions that build rewarding relationships.



This is Marshall Howard reminding you . . . giving goes where the relationship flows.

Suprise Surprise

Have you ever met with someone and the encounter, for some unknown reason, felt lifeless and flat? As you got into your car, you may have asked yourself. . . was that a waste of my time. I'd venture to say that the other person felt exactly the same.

Personally, I can't remember many meetings or lunches that I didn't leave feeling energized. This energy unlocked some exciting opportunities for both of us. That's because I approach every interaction with a clean white board.

I have no agenda. . . well, thats not exactly true.

My agenda, first and foremost, is to connect and build a relationship. That gives me the freedom to really get to know people. I am constantly surprised that when I ask someone, "Let's Have Lunch Together" and we get to know each other, we both leave feeling there's great good we'll do together.

Leave your agenda in the car...
you'll be amazed at the surprises you uncover.


This is Marshall Howard reminding you . . . giving goes where the relationship flows.

How Do You Serve?

Have you ever met a high-powered person who is willing to do virtually anything to help, and wondered why? I believe it is because they embody the spirit of a servant. According to John C. Maxwell who wrote "Relationships 101 - What Every Leader Needs to Know" being a servant is not about skill, status or position. It's about an attitude of humility and giving.

Being a leader gives people a greater sense of wanting to serve and often without expecting anything in return.

My friends who sit on boards with me, agree that we volunteer because it gives us a deeper human experience and connects us to others in different way. We focus on the need and how we can help the cause.

These same leaders are some of the most influential people, yet they all serve others, not themselves. In that magic moment, our position disappears. The only thing that matters is trying to help others.

Maxwell's point is that people can serve and lead at the same time.
"You've got to love your people more than your position."

Serve as a Leader...
Put others ahead of your agenda

This is Marshall Howard reminding you . . . giving goes where the relationship flows.

If Only I Could Get Them

For over 24 years I continually hear the same phrase over and over again.

How can I get Them to understand...
The fact is, getting Them to understand will not engage Them in your mission,
nor compel Them to donate more - Them trusting you will.

The single most powerful human motivator is a relationship.

Here's the proof.
Last month I attended a prominent fundraising gala. The person who purchased the $5000 table where I was seated, was neither a contributor nor volunteer of the organization. In fact, I discovered he knew virtually nothing about the organization. He contributed over $5000 solely because he had both a strong business and personal relationship with the askor... He just couldn't say no.

Make an emotional connection...
Build the trust, then they'll understand!

This is Marshall Howard reminding you . . . giving goes where the relationship flows.

It's All About Trust

Like all of us in America, I have been closely following the race to the White House. To me, it's clear, of all the presidential candidates, Obama has the ability to build a relationship with the American public more intimately.

While I am not endorsing Obama, or any candidate, it is interesting to me how he can connect with his audience in as little as 5 minutes. I recently read an article online at Slate from Feb 14 that explored how his speeches left the listener with a lasting emotional jolt.

He does this in two ways...

He starts by opening the door to who he is as person first, politician second. His opening remarks, tell where he comes from and how his life journey began. He weaves these facts into a very emotional story that's easy to relate to. Truly a great icebreaker.

Next, he puts the other person's needs first, his political agenda second. He uncovers the challenges that each of us experience daily and compares them to each other. Obama's words build unity. Unity gets people working together and trusting each other. . . trust is the core of a relationship.


Share your journey . . .
let people get to know you and put them first.


This is Marshall Howard reminding you . . . giving goes where the relationship flows.

What's in a $38 Cup of Coffee

Innocently enough, I decided to follow my own advice and invite a colleague of mine for a cup of coffee in downtown Los Angeles. I met Jim DeLauro at about 10:30 AM. His agency specializes in capital campaigns and strategic planning for health care and hospital foundations. During our conversation I discovered that Jim is very active in the Association for Healthcare Philanthropy (AHP), and is a presenter at their institute.

We discussed two interesting topics that morning:

1. Why is it a struggle to engage board members in fundraising?

Regardless of the importance of the gift, they all feel like they are begging with a tin cup in hand.

This can be overcome by developing a fundraising model that values the power of collaborative relationships.

2. In most Hospitals, two equal and opposite business models coexist.

When the hospital raises 100 dollars, 3 to 5 dollars remains to grow services.
If the foundation raises 100 they generally have 50 to 70 dollars to reinvest in hospital services.

VPs of Development that understand this and have taken time to develop strong collaborative relationships with their Hospital CEO, generally have more resources and affect greater change in the lives of people in their community.


Two Cups Of Coffee: $3.25
Parking: $38.00
Conversation: Priceless


This is Marshall Howard reminding you . . . giving goes where the relationship flows.

R is for Relationship . . . Not Recession

Today it seems that it is virtually impossible to pick up a Chronicle of philanthropy, Nonprofit Times or any other major nonprofit publication without some doomsday view on the "R" word. The recession, or the threat of its impact to nonprofits, in my belief is avoidable.

No stakeholder who has a deep connection and a strong relationship to an organization's staff and mission will abandon them - even in the toughest of times. I have seen this to be the case, time and time again, in my over 25 years of experience with nonprofits big and small nationwide.

So how do you build stronger relationships and deeper connections with people critical to the survival the organization you love and serve?


During these tumultuous times a mere thank you merge letter may actually hurt your fundraising efforts. Take a few minutes a day and call a couple of key stakeholders just to say thanks and find out one thing new about them. Don't forget to let them know a little bit about you as a person.

Have a great conversation . . .
get to know the people who help you do good.


This is Marshall Howard reminding you . . . giving goes where the relationship flows.

What Matters Most . . . People!

I believe in using a CRM package, 100%. However if you cannot connect with your constituents, you won't be able to uncover the important data your organization needs.

Listen, show interest in them as person, and above all be curious. Please, don't barrel through a list of preprinted questions. The last thing people want to feel is interrogated. Doing so will make them view you as disingenuous. Be patient. Wait for them to ask you more about your mission. Together you will discover the best ways they can help.

Remember, they are a person first not just ATM. Ask questions that naturally help you uncover who you board member or donor really is as a community member, parent, and business person. It works either in person or on the phone.

Become a human interest detective...
you'll discover how much fun it really is.



This is Marshall Howard reminding you . . . giving goes where the relationship flows.

The Power of You

At my recent Learning Event hosted by the University of Southern Mississippi and United Way of Southeast Mississippi many of the CEO and ED participants expressed a fear I commonly hear. "Why would my board members want to spend their precious time with me, if we are not talking about the mission?"

Board members, like everyone else, are influenced by the single most powerful human motivator --a relationship. They may have joined your organization because they were drawn to the mission, but the element that keeps them truly connected and working towards your growth is the connection with people like you.

As the CEO or ED, you hold a prestigious position that you can use to build relationships with people important to your work. Get to know your board members as a person first and they'll appreciate that you regard them as more than just an ATM.

An executive friend of mine told me that business leaders admire nonprofit executives because of the tremendous and lasting contributions they make to their communities. Remember that you do important work that people admire and they want to get to know you better.

So buy a board member a cup of coffee . . .
or just ask them, "Let's Have Lunch Together."

This is Marshall Howard reminding you . . . giving goes where the relationship flows.

What's In a Title

A Captain at The Salvation Army called me the other day after reading my learning novel and asked a question that I have heard many times before. Marshall, why did you title your book "Let's Have Lunch Together?"

The answer is simple...Lunch, one on one away from the office, is an accepted and relaxed business practice. Its a great way for two people to get to know each other on a deeper level and build a collaborative relationship. This is common in the for-profit sector yet, we commonly underestimate its opportunities in nonprofits.

The secret to a productive lunch with a donor, board member, or volunteer is to focus your attention on who they are as person first... Just like Oscar in my book.

So get out there and be more curious. Show interest in them and put your needs second.

This is Marshall Howard reminding you . . . giving goes where the relationship flows.

Nonprofit Generation Next

I was reading a blog about the next generation of nonprofit leadership in the Stanford Social Innovation Review. The author's main point was that the next generation of leaders needs help. It appears there is a belief that the mission matters more than the people.

Since the staff support the mission, they become the organization's biggest asset. Just as you manage your other assets, I believe you must invest in the growth of your staff's capabilities. This investment comes in the form of; mentorship, personal fulfillment, leadership grooming and teaching them how to build relationships with people important to your organization.

Let's show the staff they matter, and I believe, they will show us a world of nonprofits we never imagined.

This is Marshall Howard reminding you . . . giving goes where the relationship flows.

The Future of America's Fundraisers

One of the biggest topics I hear about in the nonprofit world is succession. As we baby boomers retire, who will take our places? Well, I have seen the future and it is very interesting. I was invited to speak for the third time at the annual American Humanics Management / Leadership Institute, celebrating the 60th years of American Humanics.

For those of you who don’t know, American Humanics is an innovative course of study that equips higher ed students to become skilled professionals and leaders in America's nonprofits. Headquartered in Kansas City, Missouri, American Humanics is the only national nonprofit organization meeting this need in over 80 universities nationwide.

I attended a session led by Bob Hartsook, along with about 35 AH campus directors. It was made clear that one of the biggest challenges in our field continues to be hiring and retaining quality development professionals. At the same time, the students I met were apprehensive about choosing development for a career path. As young, relationship-centered, enthusiastic, idealistic people, they were more focused on the “mission.” They felt that development was too “sales” focused and not a position that best used their talents.

That is why AH decided tackle this issue by breaking the stereotypes. It about time people in fundraising were allowed to unleash their natural relationship-building skills as part of the development process.

What do you think?

This is Marshall Howard reminding you that giving goes where the relationship flows.

Relationships: The True Meaning in Development

The evening before my keynote presentation at the National Committee on Planned Giving in Dallas, I was having a conversation with the Senior Managing Director of State Street Global Advisors and the question came up; What is a Relationship? It occurred to me that people in nonprofits use the world relationship with drastically different meanings.

For example, in the September 07 issue of "Advancing Philanthropy", published by the Association of Fundraising Professionals (AFP), an article about the need for CRM, relationship is used as a measurement for where a donor is in the contribution cycle. In another article, in the same issue about Moves Management, relationship was defined as what your donor thinks of your organization and what you can do to make them like you more.

For me, a relationship is an emotional connection between two people that creates trust and makes people feel safe. It is not about friendship, it’s about partnership.

My philosophy is that creating a trust-building experience with someone is not magic, luck or something that happens accidentally. Being a great relationship-builder is a learned skill, like swimming or riding a bicycle – it’s a repeatable, measurable process that produces dramatic results and it all starts with a clear definition of what truly defines a relationship.

Let's connect...
818.340-9202 ext .10
Thanks
Marshall

My musings on relationships

Relationships have been very important to me in my career and my personal life. Throughout my nonprofit experiences, I saw how successful people built networks of prospective donors that led to high-dollar fundraising.

I plan to talk about the power of relationships in the world of nonprofits and beyond. Like the weather, everybody talks about building relationships. However, the percentage of people who actively build and grow them with people important to their work and life is small.

Using real-world examples and stories from my interaction with colleagues, workshop participants, people I meet on the airplane and others, I'm going to give you actual, straightforward information.

By the way, I'm an avid collector of 33 1/3 RPM vinyl records. My collection houses over 6,000 albums by such early Rhythm and Blues legends as... Richie Vallens, Johnny Cash, Roy Orbison, Fats Domino, plus Jazz greats like... Ben Webster, Bill Evans, Buddy Rich, Ella Fitzgerald, and Billie Holiday.

Visit often and share your experiences and challenges with me in this blog. I plan to offer my more than 24 years of nonprofit experience and opinions with anyone brave enough to participate...as a recovering attorney, I swear I'll do my best not to ramble on too much.

You may want to visit my website - click here