New Year's resolutions

I am going to refer to advice from one of my favorite tv shows - CBS Sunday Morning. Does it sound like all I'm doing during vacation is watch tv?

Nancy Giles is a commentator with a light touch. She was talking about making resolutions and she said she hated "goals." So she looked around for some advice and found it from Leroy "Satchel" Paige, the greatest pitcher in the history of the Negro Leagues. He also played in the Major Leagues for Cleveland, St. Louis and Kansas City and coached the Atlanta Braves. He wound up in the Baseball Hall of Fame with an amazing record and an amazingly long career.

Here's what Paige said, among many other memorable things:
"You win a few, you lose a few. Some get rained out. But you got to dress for all of them."

Isn't that great advice for those of us who show up every day?

Now for some great ideas from Paige about living a better life in 2009!

"Work like you don't need the money.
Love like you've never been hurt.
Dance like nobody's watching."

Happy New Year everyone!

Holiday Message

I saw a fascinating show on PBS yesterday - Happy for No Reason. The presenter was Marci Shimoff, co-author of ‘"Chicken Soup for the Soul" and author of “Happy for No Reason: 7 Steps to Being Happier Right Now.”

She said a couple of amazing things - here's one:

#1 Don’t believe everything you think. Learn to question your thoughts. You have 60,000 thoughts each day; 95 percent of them are the same thoughts you had yesterday and the day before. Just because you have them doesn’t mean they are true.

In addition, she said, "somehow the bad comments or thoughts stick more than the good ones."

Isn't that true - we remember the negative comments from a boss or parent; rarely the favorable compliments. One of the paths to happiness is to let the good thoughts consciously come into our heads more often and "stick."

#2 Based on her research, she said brain chemistry changes when you give - another path to happiness.

So to all my colleagues who are helping others by moving their organizations and missions forward, I wish you a very happy holiday season and a happy 2009.

Despite all the uncertainty in this universe, we can change our brain chemistry. Keep the good thoughts up front!

Reaching out in tough times

I have been reading a lot of advice from columnists, bloggers and consultants about how to weather these times. Many have concentrated on advising nonprofits to have a razor-sharp message; to tell donors and stakeholders exactly what their situations are during these times and hone their electronic messages.

I think this is just backwards. Everyone knows that these are tough times . .for almost everyone. The job market is uncertain and those with jobs are nervous. People who are ready to retire and who have retired are watching their portfolios decline (one of my main worries). Those of us in the marketplace are wondering who will be buying our products or services (another concern of mine).

So I think people in nonprofit have to practice what I call the platinum rule (we all know the golden rule): DO UNTO OTHERS AS THEY NEED AND WANT YOU TO DO UNTO THEM.

How does this translate to your practice? It means asking those you meet about their situation - not because you are probing for dollars - but because you are genuinely concerned about their well-being! Listening to them and putting this person's needs first and yours second is the key to building a strong connection.

Back to my blog

It's been quite a while since I've posted any thoughts . . .in fact, just before I was diagnosed with vocal chord cancer. You can imagine what a blow that was to some who makes a living speaking - both before an audience and every day on the telephone.

I had a raspy voice and went to an ENT physician to see why my allergies were acting up. I was in shock when he told me I had a tumor. A week later, the tumor was out and the cancer was diagnosed. They got it all with lots of radiation and now I recovering from that! Most of the time I have a sore throat and coughing spells.

But I am booking engagements for 2009 and introducing my new course, goBeyondhello, a three-day training that teaches nonprofits how to build their own Partnership Council.

I have been reading a lot of opinions about how to combat this downturn as fundraising necessarily continues. In the weeks and months to follow, I'll add my ideas.

How Do I Connect On The Phone?

I have found that one of the biggest challenges we face today in our high tech society, is the ability to connect. All the time saving tools we've developed block us from connecting.

Take one of oldest tools...the telephone.
Most people use their phone to download information as quick as possible, for me it's my second most powerful connection tool.

When I pick up the phone my purpose is to reach out and connect. I want to uncover new thoughts and feelings about the other person's organization, as well as what's going on in their life. My only true goal is to help build a stronger collaborative relationship with the person on the other end of the line.


If you want to get an appointment, or a "yes" to a proposal ....

• Don't call while you are driving - select a quiet comfortable place with no distractions.
  
• Don't put people on hold - always make the person feel as if they are all that matters at that time.
  
• Don't multi-task - concentrate on the conversation it's the only thing that matters.
  
• Don't be in a rush - be patient, invest the time in the conversation. They'll let you know when they have to go.
  

Give these a try...
Comment back here with your results.

This is Marshall Howard reminding you . . . giving goes where the relationship flows.

It's Amazing What People Will Tell You

Recently, as part of a relationship centered training course at Pepperdine University, as part of a team building exercise, here's what we heard:

"I'm a direct descendant of George Washington"
"I was a professional beach volleyball player for 16 years."
"I was in prison."
"My grandmother is a fundraiser and knows people like Bill Gates well."
"My husband is 30 years older than I am."
"I've been a bodybuilder for 20 years" (a female)

How do you uncover this information? Most of it comes from sharing information - Mike James in my office likes to kick off a conversation by telling people he lives next door to his third-grade teacher.

When I was a consultant, I had a client who was resisting all of my efforts to help her. Finally, I decided to move our relationship to another level. One day, I called and said, "Let have lunch together."

During the lunch, I was careful not to talk about business. She told me that her great love was throwing pottery. She was so enthusiastic about her hobby that she took me on a tour of her studio and then showed me some of her pieces at a gallery.

I had worked with her for months and never saw this part of her life. Once I did , it made all the difference in our relationship. We were able to forge a collaborative partnership and her efforts to build a new leadership group were successful.


Give it a try...
Comment back here with your results.

This is Marshall Howard reminding you . . . giving goes where the relationship flows.

Go For The Glow!

I just finished a fascinating article from The New York Times titled "What Makes People Give." I was excited to read about the research from several prominent economists about why people give and the payoffs they receive. According to the article, people give to get the "warm-glow" of giving.

This confirms what I have always believed...People decide emotionally and justify logically. The emotional payoff for givers is an investment in feeling good. People aren't giving money merely to help families, they are giving to get the feeling that comes with it. They must have both.

My research has shown that, giving back to your donors emotionally pays off 10-fold. Simply reporting how many families your organization has helped does not create an emotional impact or even a cool glow.

Try this...First, have each board member send five handwritten note cards. Second, have board member call everyone they sent a card to. Just connect, don't ask for anything. Have the board member find out something about your donor as a person and share something about themselves.

Give it a try...
Comment back here with your results.

This is Marshall Howard reminding you . . . giving goes where the relationship flows.